Falling for her while studying abroad ♡
It started during a roughly two-month study-abroad stint in Da Nang, in my sophomore year of university. She was one of the staff supporting students like me day to day. We met there, and honestly - it was love at first sight.
From that point on, I went all in with my own approach. I invited her to eat, talked to her constantly, and told her straight out - in broken English - that I liked her. At first, all I got back was some version of "it's too soon," over and over.
Honestly, there were moments it felt rough. But I kept going because I could tell she was enjoying our time together too, and I genuinely was too. In the end, "liking her" was simply the fuel that kept me going.
As the end of the program got closer, I could tell her feelings were starting to shift. About a week before I flew home, we finally started dating. I think the sense that "I'm about to leave" was the final push that settled things for both of us.
If I hadn't kept telling her how I felt back then, this Da Nang site probably wouldn't exist today. The long distance has continued since I went home, but I still visit regularly. When I'm there, we relax at the hotel, go out for meals, and see the sights together. Enjoying this city together with her is, honestly, my favorite part of it now.
How often we actually see each other
People often ask how often we get to meet, and honestly, it's never been consistent. There have been stretches where we saw each other every 3-4 months, and more recently, a stretch of about 8 months with no visit at all. As a college student, money is tight, and once job hunting kicks in, travel just isn't an option for a while.
Even during the gaps, we've kept up daily video calls without fail. Even so, there were nights she cried on the phone from missing me. Honestly, the thought "maybe it'd be easier to just break up if we can't see each other" has crossed my mind.
But just setting a date for "when we'll next meet" somehow pulled us back together.— from the one who went 8 months without seeing her
What's kept us going this far, I think, is that we've kept setting concrete dates to see each other and sharing goals to work toward. There's also a sense that the gaps apart make the time we do get together mean even more.
How we handle the long distance ♡
We mostly talk through Instagram DMs. Among Japanese people, LINE is the default, but in Vietnam - especially among younger people - Instagram seems to be the main channel.
And we do video calls almost every night. Japanese couples seem to lean more on text than calls, but in Vietnam, video calls feel like the baseline for communication. I found the habit of "seeing each other's face every single day" strange at first, but it's completely normal to me now.
We sometimes send flowers for anniversaries, but the thing I actually use day-to-day is Grab's delivery feature. You can order from Japan and specify a Vietnamese address right in the app, so even without a special occasion, I'll sometimes have food delivered to her place just because I feel like treating her that day. Having a way to show a little care across a border, even in a small way, feels like a nice perk of living in this era.
Why Japanese and Vietnamese people are said to be a good match
In discussions of international marriage or dating, you'll often see the claim that "Japanese and Vietnamese people are a good match." One reason commonly cited is a shared emphasis on family. In Vietnam, marriage is still often seen as a bond between families, and maintaining relationships with relatives matters a lot. That resonates strongly with the way Japanese people tend to think about family too.
Buddhist-influenced thinking woven into daily life is another shared trait. Not just during religious events, but in everyday attitudes - "build good karma," "value harmony" - there's something that felt naturally familiar to me as a Japanese person.
Cultural differences I've actually noticed
It's not all smooth, of course. Here are the real differences I've noticed since we started dating.
Closeness with family
Family and relatives play a bigger role in daily life than I expected. There were moments where attending events or gatherings mattered more than I'd anticipated.
Directness of emotion
Feelings get put into words openly. If you're used to the Japanese habit of "reading the room" instead, it can feel disorienting at first.
Attitudes toward money
Expectations around how much to spend on gifts and celebrations can differ, and I've found it helps to talk about this openly in advance.
Treating either culture as the "correct" one and measuring the other against it tends to backfire - that much I've genuinely learned. Whether you can treat cultural differences as interesting rather than annoying probably matters more than anything else in the end.
Even when the words don't line up perfectly, using translation apps, LINE, and plain body language to keep trying to understand each other builds the bond little by little ♡
The day I met her parents for the first time
Family ties run deeper in Vietnam than in Japan, and they get together far more often. Against that backdrop, the day I first went to greet her parents, I was genuinely nervous. I barely spoke any Vietnamese, so I went in resolved to at least communicate through body language.
Her parents turned out to love talking, and warmed up to me quickly through gestures alone - before I knew it, we were sharing a meal. Naturally the family conversation ran in Vietnamese, so I mostly just ate quietly, but every so often she'd translate what her parents were saying into English, or teach me a Vietnamese word on the spot, which made for a fun time in its own right.
I think the effort to communicate gets noticed more than the words themselves do.— from the one who did the greeting
The future - how much have we figured out?
Honestly, we're both still students, so anything concrete around marriage or relocating is completely undecided. Still, the idea of marriage down the road sits somewhere in the back of my mind, and realistically, living in Japan seems safer financially.
But if I'm being honest about how I feel, I'd rather move to Vietnam. "What feels safe" and "what I actually want" don't line up right now, and neither of us really knows how it'll play out. When it comes time to seriously think about visas and the like, we'll look into it then.
The language barrier I barely notice anymore
People often ask if the language barrier is tough, and honestly, I barely feel it these days. Sure, the right English word sometimes doesn't come out in the moment, but we both know that, so it just ends in laughter. Nobody makes fun of anybody.
Early on, I ran every message through a translation app the moment it arrived. Now I don't do that at all. I've come to genuinely believe that the more chances you take to actually talk, the more your language ability naturally improves.
She loves gifts, surprises, and photos ♡
One thing I've really come to appreciate since dating her: Vietnamese women tend to love gifts, surprises, and photos. Even without a special occasion, a small souvenir or surprise seems to land with more excitement than I'd expect from a Japanese partner.
- Gifts - doesn't need to be expensive; the fact that you thought about it and chose it matters most
- Surprises - birthdays and anniversaries get celebrated big, and the surprise itself is treated as an expression of love
- Photos - even mundane moments get photographed instantly. Posting to social media is a normal part of preserving memories
- Flowers - the reaction to flowers is on another level entirely. More on that below
There were moments early on where I thought "you didn't need to go that far," but now I plan surprises on my own initiative. Learning what makes her happy has honestly been one of the more enjoyable parts of dating across cultures.
Why Vietnamese people love flowers so much
One thing that surprised me after we started dating is how much more enthusiasm there is for flowers here. Beyond birthdays and anniversaries, flower shops across the city see a huge rush on Vietnamese Women's Day (October 20) and International Women's Day (March 8). Displaying flowers at home is common too - flowers feel like a much bigger part of everyday life than in Japan.
Behind this is the Da Lat highlands, well known as a flower-growing region. The cool climate supports a wide variety of flowers, keeping colorful bouquets affordable even in the cities. It's interesting that certain flowers are tied to specific occasions - chrysanthemums, plum, and peach blossoms for Lunar New Year, roses as a symbol of love for anniversaries.
Touring flower shops in Da Nang ♡
Da Nang has several well-reviewed flower shops. Large bouquets tend to cost far less than in Japan, making them an easy way to surprise a partner. Here's some real rating data I put together.
Ratings retrieved: September 2026 (Google Maps)
Tap a card to open it in Google Maps.
How do you actually order?
Many local flower shops let you order and arrange delivery entirely by phone, WhatsApp, or Facebook Messenger - no need to visit in person. Judging by the reviews, plenty of people abroad surprise a partner or friend with flowers this way.
- Message directly over phone or WhatsApp - just describe the colors and budget you want, and the shop puts something together
- Photo confirmation - many shops send a photo of the finished bouquet before delivery
- Some accept PayPal - a few shops let you pay in full without ever setting foot in the country
- Hotel delivery works too - give them the hotel name and they'll often deliver straight there
I've personally ordered through Instagram DMs before. You just message the shop's account with the bouquet you have in mind and your budget. I've ordered cakes the same way. Small Vietnamese businesses often keep their Instagram accounts more up to date than their official websites, so searching for the shop on Instagram and sending a DM is honestly one of the more reliable ways to order.
Communication in Vietnam looks quite different from Japan's LINE. The dominant app is Zalo, a Vietnamese-made chat app that nearly everyone local uses. Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp are also common for messaging businesses. If you have a partner there, you'll likely talk directly over Zalo, but ordering from a flower shop works fine over WhatsApp or Facebook.
If you ever get the chance to visit Da Nang with a Vietnamese partner, it's worth ducking into a flower shop between sightseeing stops. Watching someone's face light up over a single bouquet is a different kind of travel joy than food or sightseeing.